5 Tips for More Pleasurable Sex (from Your Friendly Pelvic Floor PT)

Happy New Year! Let’s kick off 2025 by talking about something that should be enjoyable—sex. If it’s not, and you’re experiencing pain or discomfort, you’re not alone. It’s more common than you think, but here’s the thing: it’s not normal, and you don’t have to just put up with it.

I work with a lot of clients who come to me saying sex has become uncomfortable or even painful. The good news? There are real solutions, and they’re often simpler than you might think. So let’s dive into five tips to help you feel more confident and comfortable in the bedroom.

1. Get Friendly with Your Pelvic Floor

Your pelvic floor muscles are a big deal when it comes to intimacy. If they’re too tense or weak, they can make sex uncomfortable. Think of them as a Goldilocks situation—they need to be “just right.” And guess what happens when you are already experiencing some discomfort? You tend to guard and “protect” even more…meaning that your muscles get even more tense and painful.

Try this: Practice relaxing those muscles with some deep, slow breathing (think of your belly expanding like a balloon) or gentle pelvic floor drops. It’s like giving your muscles permission to chill.

2. Don’t Rush the Fun Stuff

Foreplay isn’t just a “nice to have”—it’s your body’s way of getting ready for penetration. It helps with blood flow, natural lubrication, and muscle relaxation, all of which make things feel so much better. Have you ever heard the microwave analogy, ladies? We are NOT microwaves, we are ovens. We need to preheat and warm our bodies up to prepare for sex. “Quickies” are important too, especially with little people running around and hectic schedules, but they may need to beput on hold if you are currently experiencing pain or discomfort.

Here’s the deal: Slow it down, enjoy the build-up, and don’t be afraid to tell your partner what feels good for you. Communication = better connection.

3. Experiment to Find What Feels Good

Not every position is going to work for everyone, and that’s okay! Some positions can make things more comfortable, while others might be the source of your discomfort.

Pro tip: Positions where you’re in control of depth and speed—like side-lying or seated—can be a game-changer. And don’t underestimate the power of a pillow for support in tricky angles. (your pelvic floor PT can give you guidance on how to modify positions and angles based on your individual needs)

4. Bring in Some Extra Support (AKA Lube)

Let’s normalize lube! It’s not just for people dealing with dryness; it’s for anyone who wants to make things smoother and more comfortable. ESPECIALLY if you are postpartum and breastfeeding (increased oxytocin means less estrogen and more dryness!), lubrication is an excellent resource, even temporarily, to help your body acclimate, as you and your partner pick up where you left off prior to birth.

Quick tip: Choose a high-quality, body-safe lube (silicone-based ones are great if you need extra moisture). If dryness keeps popping up, staying hydrated can help too!

5. Get Some Professional Back-Up

If pain during sex has been sticking around, don’t ignore it. It’s your body’s way of saying, “Hey, I need some attention here.” Pelvic floor physical therapy can help figure out what’s going on—whether it’s tight muscles, scar tissue, tissue integrity from hormonal changes, or something else—and get you back on track.

What to expect: We work together on muscle release techniques, stretches, and exercises to improve comfort and confidence. It’s all tailored to you and what your body needs.

Let’s Make Intimacy Joyful Again
You deserve sex that feels good—plain and simple. If it’s been feeling like more of a struggle than it should, don’t wait to get help. You can reach out to us anytime with questions or to learn more about how pelvic floor therapy might be the missing piece for you.

Because, seriously, everyone deserves to feel good in their body. 💕